Emotional Connection: Good or Bad?

The following is excerpted from an article appearing in the March/April edition of the Pet Services Journal by Jim Burwell, chair of the Dog Training Section of the
Pet Care Services Association.

The emotional connection you create with your dogs in the very beginning weeks and months of your relationship will determine how they relate to and interact with you, other family members, friends, and strangers in the years to come. Will you create a confident and well-balanced dog, or will your dog develop insecurities laden with anxiety and tension? Here are some facts about relationships with dogs that could change your approach to training and ensure you a more confident dog.Most relationships with our dogs are emotional. Dogs are very sensitive to our feelings; if they weren’t, we wouldn’t have them as pets and companions. BUT...dogs don’t do well with an overabundance of our emotional energy. Too much love and affection when we are home can cause our dogs to miss all that attention when we are gone, which can make them feel insecure. Conversely, dogs become afraid when they sense anger, or hear yelling and screaming. This kind of emotional energy creates an unstable, tense, and anxious environment for a dog. When our dogs feel insecure about their relationships with us, they become frustrated. Our dogs then try to relieve the tension caused by this frustration, and that’s when behavioral problems occur.

So enjoy that emotional connection with your dogs, but remember that it will affect your relationships with them and their behavior for many years to come. Here are some tips for creating a confident dog.

Don’t involve your dog in emotional departures and arrivals. These tend to cause emotional highs at important, critical times of the day which, in turn, can lead to disorders, such as separation anxiety. Instead, ignore your dog for a few minutes prior to departure and after your arrival at home. By consistently doing this, you level out your dog’s emotional highs rather than create a sharp contrast between his alone time when you’re not at home, and his time when you are. When you get home, and a few minutes have gone by, simply and quietly ask your dog to sit, and then greet them with love and affection.

Don’t yell and scream with anger or frustration when correcting your dog. Envision the behavior you want, and reinforce that preferred behavior, as opposed to spending the attention on the unwanted behavior. (Easier said than done, for sure, but persistence pays off huge dividends!)

Don’t reward your dog’s insecurities by feeling sorry for them and coddling them (for example, if they’re anxious during thunderstorms or because they’re brand-new to your home). Instead, "happy your dog up." Changing YOUR emotional state can change the emotional state of your dog through mood transferences. Work your dog through happy "sits" and "downs" by praising and treating him for a job well done through stressful episodes. The author has even suggested singing a happy song to help change a dog’s emotional state — with success!

When dealing with unwanted behaviors, pair your calm energy with quiet redirection to appropriate behaviors like "sits" or "downs" followed by simple praise for doing a good job. Engage your dog in very short, frequent obedience training sessions each day to give your dog a sense of working and his place in your pack. For a dog living with humans, feeling responsible for those things himself is a difficult burden to carry. Lastly, have fun raising and training your dog, and make it fun for them, too!

« Back                                                          Next »